Making A Difference For Dads

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Divorced? Here’s How You Can Reconnect With Your Kids.


Article Provided by Jeffery M. Leving

One of the biggest problems that arises after a divorce is learning how you can reconnect and spend time with your kids. A recent study concluded that divorced dads actually spend the least time with their kids out of any parenting group, which is unfortunate because many dads long to be able to reconnect with their children despite their new marital status. If you are a divorced father and you’re looking for ways to communicate with your kids, spend time with them, and let them know how loved they are, there are several things you can do.

First off, let them know that you care. Verbally tell both your children and their custodial parent that you would like to spend time with them and that you care about them. Sometimes, emotions run high during a divorce. While you and your former partner may argue or fight, it’s important to remember that your kids have to come first. Try to set aside your feelings toward your ex-spouse and instead, communicate in a healthy and effective way. Let them know that your children are important to you and that you want a relationship with them. Your former partner may worry that you don’t want to be around the kids or that they are no longer of value to you, so make sure you communicate this desire as soon as possible.

It’s also important to understand that while your lives have changed, your relationship can continue to grow and blossom. Focus on spending time with your kids in ways that are meaningful to them. Hanging out and making memories with your kids doesn’t have to be extravagant. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on an expensive vacation or do anything wild and crazy that will impress them. Something as simple as going for a bike ride together, attending a local high school football game, or even going to a movie can be a fun way to spend time together. If your children have hobbies they enjoy, try to plan activities that revolve around their hobbies, and of course, make sure you attend their games and sporting events as much as possible for continued moral support.

One of the most important ways fathers and children can reconnect is simply to get together and talk. Don’t be afraid to talk with your kids about the divorce. You can talk about your life changes, how you feel, and how you’re going to stay in touch and build your relationship moving forward. Don’t be afraid to talk with your kids about their emotions. They might feel angry, sad, or happy about the divorce. They might have a hard time dealing with their emotions. You can do things like watch a movie about a family who goes through a divorce or even read a book. There are a number of both fiction and nonfiction books designed to help kids and parents cope with a divorce, so don’t be afraid to take a look at your local library to find some resources that can help you connect even further.

When you’re dealing with a divorce, remember that your lawyer is one of your most important and valuable assets. If you’re struggling with getting the parenting time you deserve or your former spouse is simply refusing to let you have the time you’re permitted to share with your kids, talk with your attorney about your next steps.